Wednesday, March 01, 2006

New Strategy; Bagpipes

New Strategy for complete national and local domination.

Travelling personal babpipe band.

They follow me to races, march into the infield and start playing battle songs while I warm up.

Went to Kells Irish Pub for a Guinness and some fish+chips with a few friends the other night. Place was packed to the walls, people everywhere. The air had that electric Saturday night tension that makes every second seem like the one just before everything breaks loose.
The Irish band on stage finishes up a raucous set and wanders to the bar. Things quiet down momentarily. Just as people start to get restless a low drone starts... you know... droning. No one knows where it's coming from, few even know what the sound is until the snare drums start pounding. Seems far away but it's getting louder and louder. Louder and louder until a bagpipe band walks straight past your table in full kilt-kit playing as loud as bagpipes, snares and bass drums can play.

I'm not even Irish and for some reason this sound made me want to stand up and fight everyone in the room. Everyone. Right then. If that stuff brings out the anger while I'm sitting at a table with Jenny and a few other girls, imagine how amped I'd get while warming up... That would open the door to "the room" and push me right through.

Plus, can you imagine how crazy that would look to the other guy? How insane would I look?

Anybody know a good bagpiper?

8 comments:

piglet said...

Does he have to be good? Call Tyge. He would totally do it during the next big Alpenrose event. Ach. Brilliant.

piglet said...

Sorry, Tyge. Couldn't resist.

McLaughry said...

Dude, don't you think that sound would have an even bigger impact on those of us who are actually Irish/Scottish? And then what happens, if we're both in 'the room' but my room's bigger than yours?

Anonymous said...

I remember one year at the Tour of Willamette, a long time ago when all the pro teams would show up because the race was so…. Tonkin. yah that’s it. Tonkin. There wasn’t any prize money, organization, bathrooms, road marshals, etc. It was early in the am and the people were just starting to show up at the start of one of the days. It was foggy and the snow level was down to about 1000 feet. It was going to be an epic day and everyone knew it. Then in the distance on the soccer field barely visible from the parking lot, a solo bag-piper floated his tune through the mist. It couldn’t have played out better if I had planned it for weeks.

In a work it was perfect.

Dean said...

Your room may be bigger steven, but mine has a chest full of kilts and whiskey that I didn't even know about... leave it to my mother to read my posts and point out my lily-white skin and my irish name (dean mackenzie...).

My room also has a burrito stand and surround sound in it though, so take that(it's custom).

Seamus McLeary said...

You guys should have a "who's more irish" fight! You could stand next to each other and slam your heads into a wall, and whoever passes out last wins.

piglet said...

Tyge can help you out there. He's a paramedic.

piglet said...

http://www.jimgaffigan.com/paleforce_hq.shtml