Wednesday, February 22, 2006

HA! JACKED UP!

So at superweek last year I was trying to survive 2 hour crits, going so hard I dislocated and unhinged my jaw to facilitate better airflow into my pathetic, kiddy-balloon style lungs, and out of knowhere this dude in the Uraguay-an national team kit (which I recognized from geting jacked around by two different Uraguay guys at the AVC a couple years ago) rides up the curb on the inside and bunnyhops back into the street and gives me a full body-check which sends me into Dave McCook, who gets pissed, starts yelling and body-checks me right back into the curb. I stayed upright with some magical powers and by closing my eyes and thinking of how retarded it would be to crash in the middle of the field with 30 minutes to go, surrounded by a hundred guys who are all faster than me.

Anyway. The Uraguanian ends making an absolute KILLING by winning every prime over 10 dollars for 5 races straight by riding 200 meters in front of the field for lap after lap after lap. Stories run rampant about his vicious and idiotic riding style and terrible personal hygiene.

Then USACYCLING.ORG drops the megabomb:


"COLORADO SPRINGS (February 16, 2006)

USADA sanctions Uruguayan rider

The United States Anti-Doping Agency (USADA) announced today that Alvaro Tardaguila of Montevideo, Uruguay, an athlete in the sport of cycling, has accepted a two-year suspension after his sample tested positive for the prohibited substance recombinant human erythropoietin (EPO) and an anabolic agent.

Tardaguila’s two-year suspension begins on October 17, 2005, the day he received credit for serving a voluntary suspension. He is disqualified from the Downer Avenue Bike Race held in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and all subsequent events. USADA handled this case of a Uruguayan athlete as directed under the UCI rules since Mr. Tardaguila tested positive at an event in the United States

6 comments:

Drew said...

Sweet...but I bet he gets to keep all his primes and winnings for the years he was doping. USADA should fine him or better yet his team for at least that amount.

Phhht, McCook who? He needs to have a burito and chill...

Molly Cameron said...

You gotta get on the program!

Think of all those crits you could be winning...

Like PIR but, with money.

On another note, how did you like that sweet Landis TT position yesterday?

Anonymous said...

Damn dude...that was my teammate last year...good thing I got outta that situation :)
Kirk

deant114 said...

normally i would flip floyd a ton of shit for his strange hands-in-front-of-face position, but he smashed everyone in pretty convincing fashion, so what can you say about that?

Anonymous said...

on a side note. G Unit needs some ass kickin' for complaining too much.

www.scottallencycling.blogspot.com

Dean said...

maybe he just needs to get back to portland and get laid...