Sunday, November 21, 2004

How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb (and other sucky albums by U2)

Let me start by saying that if I hadn't heard "Where the Streets Have No Name" about 13,000 times, it'd be a damn good song. Same goes for "War," an album that rates pretty highly in the anit-war pop music category. That said, I pose the question: WHY WONT THEY JUST RETIRE ALREADY?
Holy crap, Batman, I've heard that awful new U2 song more times than I care to admit and it sure doesn't get any better with every listen. If any band that wasn't called "U2" sent that odd collection of scales and vocal posturing to a record label, this is what would happen:
RECORD EXEC 1: Jesus, Don, what the hell are you listening to?
RECORD EXEC 2: Not too sure Jimbo, sounds sort of... what's the word I'm looking for?
SECRETARY: "Crappy?"
RECORD EXEC 2: That's it Sandy! Now I remember why I hired you, apart from your gorgeous figure and saucy demeanor!
SECRETARY: (giggling)
RECORD EXEC 1: Hey Don, if you don't need that tape, I'll take it.
RECORD EXEC 2: What, are you going to allow this refuse to pollute the airwaves?
RECORD EXEC 1: (laughs) That's a good one! Nah, I could use a new coaster though!
Lights fade on shot of portly pinstriped douches smoking fat cigars...

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