Monday, February 07, 2005

America... F@%K YEAH!!!

So one night in Wanganui I was wandering around town late at night with Breezy's brother Saul and some dude named Lee, and for whatever reason Saul started singing the themesong to Team America: World Police. If you've never heard this musical jem, the lyrics are... well.. the title of this post are the only words anyone knows, and Saul was yelling them at full volume. A few minutes after his voice went out, we see a kiwi girl and her boy-toy walking towards us. The girl is talking (not so quietly) about how much she HATES Americans. How Americans are EVIL. How Americans are at fault for all polution, the Tsunami, and the hairy mole on her back. She gets closer and keeps blabbering on at her poor boyfriend and the whole world, so Saul says something to the effect of "Hey I think she hates Americans"
"Hell yes" She yells.
So (diplomatic American that I am) I say "I'm an American, what do you think of that?"
And here's the part I wasn't really expecting.
"I THINK I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!!"
This is the part where the drunken idiot lunges at me and gets flung sideways because her boyfriend has a steady grip on her arm.
"LEMME GO!! I'M GONNA F%#K HIM UP!!!"
All because of where I was born.
Granted she's drunk and we got a good laugh out of the rediculous situation, but it threw me a little. She had to have the thought in the back of her mind in the first place in order to bring it out when she heard the word America, let's face it, a drunken stupor is not a time when people come up with political leanings. She would hate me either way, maybe in the afternoon at a kebab stand she would just give me an evil-eye and think about what swine I am, but this just happens to be how we meet. And it made me think about the question...

"So do you support George Bush?"

This is the first thing I hear when someone hears my accent or finds out where I'm from. No shit, almost without fail, every time. EXAMPLE: New Year's Eve, sweaty dancing/drinking establishment, Tuckerman says something to some girl about being here with an American and she looks at me and slurs: "WHAT DO YOU THINK OF GEORGE BUSH?"
Of course I say he's a worthless goon and she seems to feel better and goes back to chatting (well actually yelling) with Tuckie, but again, this just keeps coming up. Yesterday at the track it happened. Last week in town it happened. I can't count the number of times I've heard it. The reaction is always the same when I give my answer. Relief. Whew, he's not one of those "gun-toting war-mongering Bush-lovers" as one guy at the record store put it. Granted this is might be a bit of a harsh way to describe every republican in the country, but this is the reputation they have in the rest of the world. This is how people see Bush, and by association his voters and to some the rest of America. Even after people get to know me, the impression is there, it's impossible to destroy. "He's an American."

This is the way people view us. The brainless cowboys. The narcissistic clods of the world. Awesome. America. Fuck yeah. DT

3 comments:

Jenny said...

What is it with the whole world and their hate for us anyways. I bet if we took a close look at their government it would have a few blemishes too. What happened to let he who is without sin cast the first stone?? Untill they show me they live in a squeaky clean perfect society they can shut the hell up! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it New Zeland biotches! It's ok for Americans to make fun of our Government but everyone else should really stop using us as their scape goat for the worlds problems! And that is my rant. End scene.

piglet said...

Oooh, the protective tigress's claws come out! Exciting!

Anonymous said...

But it's the little orange Americans that open their homes and hearts to lovable kiwis....and maybe some day, not today, but some day people will realize we are all the same. It just starts with one person and the kindness they offer.....Think about Sara and how you helped Sara, I'm sure Sara doesn't feel the same about Americans as the drunk girl you met in the street.

=0)
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