Tuesday, August 12, 2008

building dangerous things

So the AVC and all its triumph and bits of disappointment are behind me, and we’re rolling strong back into the routine of training. Disappointment, you say? Que? Yeah, well. The keirin was a bummer, but more so I wish I had some more time to hang out with family who came to see me race, friends I never saw, and friends I didn’t see enough of. But bills call louder than loud and I had to get back to work. Being a non-pro cyclist doesn’t pay much.

Speaking of which…

Do you love Land Rovers? Because I do. But not because I have that much money or am a closet off-road enthusiast. I love Land Rover because they’re the main sponsor of the new Land Rover-Orbea Professional Cycling Team. Yeah. Remember Rubicon? No more Rubicon. Now Norrene and Dave are the proud, very stressed parents of the newest UCI Continental pro team. I was perusing the UCI rules to see if a track sprinter could even be on a road team, and found that it can be so. The only catch is the rider must be ranked in the top 150 in the world by UCI points. Drag, I said. Mostly to myself. Then out of curiosity I checked the UCI rankings and sure enough, there I was, number 133. Bitchin. So looks like Dave and Norrene are stuck with a track racer who is building a death-metal track bike. So bummer for them, but I’m psyched.

Speaking of the new bike, it's brutal. It’s so brutal I’ve decided to name it Murderface Murderface. Or Snizzysnazz Bullets. One of those.

This is a pile of metal. Heavy metal. Biggest legal aero downtube available. Another downtube for a toptube. Seat-tube, chainstay and seatstays intended for a tandem. Big chunks of metal for secret tricks and pieces. And a local beer for good luck.

Handmade from the GroundUp.

Making dangerous things in dangerous ways.

Jigged up.

Speaking of dangerous… That top tube doesn’t come like that. That top tube was placed in a vice between 2 steel chainstays and deformed by hand. Comment of the moment from Eric was “Man I hope this thing doesn’t hit me in the face like last time…”

Does your seat tube pierce your top tube? Cause mine does.

Heavy metal moustache.

Nothing caps a good day of building like some DizzyDrome construction. Hmmm... what could make this thing a little sketchier? Wall ride!

Dallas hitting it, fur flying.

Dallas misjudged that one and had to resort to his emergency landing-gear apparatus (most people call it a collarbone).


Ping Pong Says... said...

First! I liked your post. Dave told me about the new sponsorship, but didn't say anything about going pro. Sweet. He wouldn't let me change in the Landrover on display at the twilight crit. Isn't that why it's there?

cpt a said...

I vote Murderface Murderface...and I like the modern interpretation of the '70s porn star 'stache. Eric makes it look good. Pro bike racer?!?! Ultimate slacker job...congratulations. Now go ride your bike.

zak gets hurt too much said...


David said...

A long way to go before pro.... maybe pro in stature or image. Maybe not on paper though.

abers said...

Sick scoot-gotta go w/Murderface Murderface. I'm always the last to know-you should hit Dave up for a raise.

David said...

I'm considering a 7% cost of living increase. depending on how well he rides at nationals.

Anonymous said...

"America is all about hot nasty badass speed"
Ellanore rosevelt

And being "pro" isn't all that easy.. All those
Hours on the couch watching movies.. It takes it's toll
On the body...