the sea clam report

I didn't go to the Grand Sea Clam Pro Cycling Nascar Classic in monterey last weekend, but some of our skinnier guys were there, and they were all over it.

I did the Laguna Seca Shimmy when I was a much smaller junior lad, and I can tell you, that course is not even close to fun. Everyone always talks about "corkscrew this" and "corkscrew that" and "oh you gotta watch out for crashes," but by my memory, that's a bunch of crap. In order to get to the corkscrew you have to come up this steep bastard of a hill (which is way bigger than it looks on TV) so once you hit the corkscrew descent you're crosseyed anyway, and then once you actually go down it, you realize that it's probably only fun at about 200 miles an hour. Nice wide, smooth, easy corners that wind down to a 180 and back around to the front straight, which just means that you'll be heading back up that stupid hill in a couple of seconds flat. So if you're on a rediculously powerfull motorcycle or a fantastically expensive car, it's probably great. Maybe even hair-raising. On a bike however, I have a trickier commute home from work.

That doesn't stop the marketers from touting the Sea Clam Classic as the greatest race ever to grace the face of the world, and it continues to pull huge sponsorship dollars, tons of people and lots of industry bigwigs with deep pockets. So a result at the Sea Clam is a big deal. Which is cool, because the Rubicon guys pulled a big result.

Aaron Skeletor Tuckerman rode like a man possed with a bike racer, bridged a bunch of gaps, successfully didn't crash and even managed to drop last year's winner Andy Badjadali in the closing laps by flexing his diminutive little buttcheeks and attacking on the hill, eventually finishing 5th. Brad apparently showed some power-cards by shuttling Tuckie around all day, with Logan doing his part as well. Dan and Kirk overcame gravity to place very well, 10th and 19th respectively. Matt Brandt snagged 18th and the Best Young Rider award, and Richard kept his current streak alive by running into some mechanical issues. Hopefully he can shake the curse sometime before Hood.

The boys even found time to chat with some schoolkids about racing, foreigners and that kind of stuff. I spent my weekend glaring at kids trying to ride big-wheels into stacks of carbon road bikes. The books show we had a record weekend at the shop, which is cool. My brain says that I need to sleep, but what does it really know? I have a three hour Codes and Ordinances class tonight, should be plenty of time to catch up on the zzz's.

DT

midday sale update

I am surrounded by oceans of screaming children who seem like they should be too old to be pitching fits in bike shops. Lines of unusually irritated people waiting for cashiers stretch for miles. Head full of static.

Sea Otter is on. It's on like Donkey Kong. Godspeed to all the boys. Stay upright and impress someone willing to donate some hard earned money to a struggling development team.

More kids. Jesus where do all these kids come from? Is birth control going out of style?

the writing is on the wall

Kurt Vonnegut died today.

These things always seem to happen at the end of good days. So it goes, as the man would say.

If you haven't read Player Piano, Slaughterhouse Five or Cats Cradle, pick one up at Powells some time. It'll be worth it. In fact, get them all. You don't need to watch American Idol (americans idle?) that much anyway.

"Here we are, trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no why."

"I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center."

"I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different."
-KV

DT

this week may be a death march

Come one, come all, it's time once again for the Bike Gallery's Big Giant Super Mega Spring Sale To End All Sales.
Happy times.
Seems like we're busy enough without it lately, the store has been smacked by too-frequent waves of madness for weeks. It's a tight rope to walk, being at a shop known for giving cutomers individual attention while there are three times as many customers as salespeople. Most people are understanding of the fact that we have a lot on our plate, but some still think they are the only humans in the store. Possibly in the world. Must be upsetting to realize otherwise...

In the fantasy land known as Bicycle Racing, some people did some crit this weekend. Boat Street Crit I'm told. I did it a few years ago, was brought down in a big fat 20-person crash and snapped a couple of brand new carbon wheels that my parents had saved up for. Bad memories of a sketchy corner, always wet. Haven't been back since. Conveniently, I had to work.

Sounded like the boys were on fine form. They even kept up thier amazing rate of two crashes per crit. Last weekend it was myself and Richard, this weekend it was Dan and Skeletor. Dan The Man flexed his left butt-cheek and broke his chain into a million little peices and launched himself over his bars and Tuckerman probably pulled the other standard Skeletor move (aside from attacking from the gun, which he had already done by this point) and crashed all by himself off the front. Probably tried to ignore the simple laws of physics by trying to enter a 90 degree corner at about a hundred and ten miles per hour. "oh I'm a mountain biker with a funny haircut, I can make it."


The face of sorrow, the legs of strength. That chain never stood a chance. Neither did the jersey.

The rest of the boys miraculously stayed upright and finished well. Brad made it out of the sick bay and on to the bike, leaving Adam all alone in the quarantine. Matt Brandt gets 3 gut points for wearing white gloves, but those points are canceled out by the negative three gut points Kirk gets for racing with his shorts rolled up to his crotch in the J Dangle position. Kenny Williams heard the cash registers ringing and took the sprint ahead of Kirk, keeping his title of "fastest old guy in Seattle" firmly planted on the mantle. Pretty sure that guy will be winning 1/2 crits up there when he's 80. Pure machine that guy is.

Sea Otter's up next for the unemployed. I'll start racing when the temperatures get above 70.

DT

p.s. Pic's from the fastest eye in the west, Amara Boursaw. You should buy lots of pictures from her at www.wheelsinfocus.com. Put them on your walls, put them on your fridge, put them on your pets, put them on your kids, buy that picture of Dan and put it on a t-shirt and be the envy of all your friends.

i think i just wet myself

One Step Closer

That. Just. Happened.

Eugene went pretty well. We brought the noise.

The race consisted of maybe 30 people tops. Pretty low turnout, but that's what you get with a not-so-interesting course in March touting 200 bucks split 5 deep.

Tuckerman was told not to attack from the gun at least 23 times the night before, so I was pretty proud of him for waiting for about 5 minutes to make his bold move. By ten minutes into the race we had four guys doing a team time trial off the front with no other teams represented.
Happy times.
There was much gnashing of teeth and whining "there goes the race" from the back. The boys got the lap, I sat in the back, got tired by doing nothing and messed up the sprint for 5th, despite being handed the world's most beautiful leadout by Kirk. Good thing 200m sprints don't take an hour...

Guess it's par for the course. You spend all winter working on pure strength and track speed, and your endurance goes out the window. No worries. I'll get mine when the avc rolls around.

So we ended up with 1st 2nd 3rd and 4th. True to Rubicon form, we also managed to rack up 2 crashes on the day. Yours truly won the idiot award for crashing in the parking lot before the race. Who knew that looking down at your bottom bracket while riding toward a concrete parking barrier was a bad idea? One minute I'm riding along wondering "what's that noise?" and the next minute I'm on my back wondering "why am I in a bush?"

The best part was that everyone was there to see it. I thought it was pretty hilarious.

Dan and Richard did a deadly dance with 15 laps to go and Richard ended up surfing pavement with Beardsley on top of him. Sheepherder Speer took a good one to the back of the head and lost a few college classes, but was otherwise fine.

Sounds like Piece of Cake was a little harder than the name implies. Reports range from "a little gusty" to "gale-force winds." I spent the day in the shop, but Tuckie spent it off the front with So Pro Dougie O and Mick Walsh. Poor guy was probably getting blown around like a reciept in the wind. That's what happens when you come to the states about as thick as an Olson twin. He ended the day a solid third. New guy Matt Brandt smashed the hopes and dreams of an entire CMG team leadout by beating The Donald to the line.

Looks like the orange crush is officially hauling ass. Those guys are wicked quick. Can't wait for track season to start, then I can stop looking like the fat slow kid.

Candi Murray got to hang out at track worlds and spectate. Lucky.
DT

the clog bog. finals are done like disco.

The last two weeks have been all power-study and panic-writing. Finals weeks are bad for motivation in every aspect of life. But now it's over for another term, and I'm left tired, unorganized and feeling like a fat lard.

Did a few quality ride with Aaron Skeletor Tuckerman this week. His road bike was stuck somewhere between Spain and Vancouver, so he got the opportunity to do some extra miles on his TT bike. Lucky guy. You might not think he's got too much power by looking at him, but while rolling around town today he single-handedly ripped his chain in half. This excellent turn of luck landed us in a certain well advertised bike shop downtown, where they didn't know a masterlink from an 8-track player.

The team's mostly here, the bikes are mostly done, and we're mostly ready to roll.

Found a new totally sweet internet radio station called last.fm. Just enter a band, a genre or a category and it spits out hours and hours of music you've probably never heard of, but you'll probably dig.

Looks like the Icebreaker Crit will be interesting this year... Should have the usual 37 hutches guys, a bunch of wicked-quick Dr. Seuss guys, a not-so-mysterious mystery blogger and forty other people who all think they can win the sprint from last position coming into the last lap. Little bit of sun would go a long way, but don't count on it.

DT

catsitting around

Seems that the Interweb has not penetrated Columbia River yet, so the last week of cat-sitting for the Godfreys has left me feeling so... alone. Naked without the news, weather and blogging that the internet has to offer. Sure I could try TV, but who wants to watch that many commercials? The final two weeks of classes have arrived. Things are getting very tense now. The grade worry sets in.

Sounds like the California trip Version 1 is turning out to be a rough day in the office (surprise!). One broken bike and a couple of broken souls later, the nerds should be back in town on Sunday. Meanwhile, speaking of broken bikes, Tuckerman gets in tonight.

This is why YouTube would work better if it was run by shadowy figures hidden in an underground lawsuit-proof bunker somewhere.

the cream of the crop

Barry. Killin.

rollin for real

Seems like everyone always talks about bringing an indoor velodrome to PDX, but it rarely seems to go much farther than talk. Now Steve Brown and a group of people are pushing the idea farther than just emails and water-cooler talk. He and Jonathan Maus of bikeportland.org have been in and out of Salem a few times, and have come back with some great news care of Senator Jason Atkison and measure 66 (which allows use of lottery funds to build parks and recreation centers).

From BikePortland.org: "Sen. Atkinson revealed to us that he just finished the draft of a new Senate Bill that if passed, would allocate $3.5 million to build two new velodromes in Oregon; one in southern Oregon, and one in the Portland metro area!"

The bill officially enters the system tommorow.

Already the same old tired critiques of any state spending are rearing thier stupid heads in the comments section of the bike portland article. "why should we build a park that I'm never going to use?" "I want a 3 dollar tax break!" "If we build a velodrome, the terrorists will win!" Okay maybe that last one hasn't come out yet, but give it time. For every complaint there are five or six in favor, so hopefully that's a good sign.

Keep your eyes on the Portland Velodrome Project website and the Obra mailing list for news and how you and all your friends and relatives and everyone you know can help.
DT

ticket-nazis and anonymous goons

Rolled out the door schoolward bound on the fixie this morning to an interesting sight. Nearly every car on the street decorated with a lovely yellow parking ticket. At first I though "ha, poor bastards." Surely the aftermath of some wednesday night party-goers who overstayed thier welcome in this parking-nazi haven.

Then I saw the ticket on my truck.

WTF?

Turns out everyone's permit expired at midnight last night, and the nazis were ready.

How stupid could I be, to let something like that happen? Then I checked my permit to find the expiration date. None to be seen. Turns out the only proof that I can find that my permit is expired is the little yellow envelope pinned down by my wiper blade. F*#!ers. I counted 28 cars on one street alone with little middle fingers on thier windshields. At 50 bucks a pop, that's 1,400 bucks easy money. Per street. Sneaky bastards.

Sure, I applied for my new permit today, but that stupid envelope is staying on the windshield. We'll see if it can handle a few days of rain and wind untill I actually get in that creaky truck again.

Remember I was amping about the new blog last week? Not so impressed. I don't mind some humor and a good natured jab every now and then, but that stuff's mean and vindictive. The main writer's not the biggest problem, it's the comments. Too many anonymous goons with too little to do and not enough brain power to do it with. It's like a big "I got cheated out of the cat. 4 crit championships title last year and now I'm gonna take it out on someone else" party.

Too many children, not enough toys. An idle mind is the devils playground. "Kill the body and the head will die."

Looking forward to my wedding. Are you?
DT

sweet

New jersey on the line at Worlds this year: the Omnium. Events include:

Kilo:
3k pursuit:
5km scratch:
200m fly:
15km Points race:

How much would it kick ass if that continued beyond this season and expanded into an Olympic medal? Seems like it'd be good for spectators; people get a little more connection with riders, yet races are still short enough to keep up with short attention spans... If USA cycling does not pay attention and make this a national championship event, it will be the worst move they could possibly make. Keep the standing 250 a seperate event and add the omnium, in a couple years you'll have some of the strongest sprinters and endurance guys in the world. Seems that in a country chock full of crit sprinters and trackies that this would be our favorite event.

On the road side of things, apparently Slipstream will test its riders' blood and urine 50 times a year. This will carry a price tag of $20,000 per rider or $400,000 per year... I say kick ass. Good positive step in the public opinion battle that road racing continues to slog through.

New blog on the block: Race Oregon. I'm all about some good-nature shit-talking, so I'm psyched to see how that goes throughout the season. Sure didn't take long to end up the topic of discussion though, this is from a 2007 preview:
"Rubicon
How could I forget Rubicon!? Is Norrene going to load up her basement with Kiwis again? The boys in Orange will be around to share New Zealand’s favorite pastime (drinking) and the national dance (the tuck and roll), in a mutually beneficial cultural exchange. Hide your sisters. Word is she's also looking to load up the team with Cat. 1/2s under 20 years of age or something like that.
2 words for the guys in orange this year: Dan Harm."

Yeah we're amped for Dan's season in orange. I'm just happy to have someone else out at the track. If all goes well we should have a pretty good goup in both the sprints and endurance stuff.

As for the kiwi national dance... well.. yeah. we're working on that. Tuckerman's mountain bike gets training wheels this year.
DT

(almost) Back To Racin'

Some pie race goes down a mere 4 days from now, I better start riding... Actually, I haven't done that race for something like 4 or 5 years and I don't plan on starting this year. Too damn early. The pie race proves a very valid point however, and that point is the 2007 racing season. You can barely see it in the distance, bearing down on us all like a grotesque freight train loaded with acid and chocolates. Come mid-march I'll stand by the tracks and run along at full tilt, pick a car and hop on. Hopefully it's the chocolate one.

First Crit of the year happens pretty early down in U-Jean. If it's the same boring, flat course as always I'm in. This time of the year is tailor made for courses you can sleep through. Just fast enough to hurt, just technical enough to make me corner slightly harder than I do on the bike path. Leave the insane dive-bomber "I can beat the lead motor" courses for summer nights.

We all know that track racing is the best thing you can do with your clothes on, so that's all I'm looking forward to at this point. That and beating Ping Pong at Tabor. Think I'm gonna train for the Fat-Off at Tabor this year. Lord knows the Pong certainly has.

The other thing I need to work on this year is a cyclocross style supporter's club. I need a bunch of old drunk dudes in matching jackets to show up every week at the track to wave pirate flags, hurl insults at other riders and sing songs about how totally awesome I am. I'll even train them to throw the flags like javelins for the AVC this year so I can bring down some sweet moolah when I'm the only one that finishes all of my sprint rounds...
Or maybe I'll just hire this guy. He can just wander around the infield and glare at everyone.

DT

beaches are ill

New best thing: mid-January Oregon coast camping trip. Brave the elements. Face the fears. Nevermind your frozen digits, these smores taste great.

bummer...

I suppose this clears a few thing up though.

"The United States Anti-Doping Agency (USADA) announced on Friday that track cyclist Stephen Alfred of Capitola, Calif., has been given an eight-year suspension after testing positive for exogenous testosterone and for 'pregnancy hormone' human chorionic gonadotrophin (hCG).

Alfred, 39, returned a positive result for exogenous testosterone or its precursors and for an elevated testosterone to epitestosterone (T/E) ratio in an out-of-competition test conducted on May 28, 2006. He also tested positive for hCG on June 10, 2006, at the Pan American Cycling Championships in Brazil. The two positives are considered one doping offense according to the World Anti-Doping Code."
-cyclingnews.com

DT

Crash O The Day

This will hurt

DT

computer's dead

My apple died a horrible, click-spazzy death. I have yet to gather the funds to fix it, so updates can only happen when i'm at school, and when i'm at school I just want to go home, not sit in the library and clickety clack about how my day has been and how little I rode this week.

How bout that World Cup, eh? Get some Sarah Hammer. Get some.
DT

day off

It's my day off, so happy new year and here's some pictures.










Bike pictures from PUMA. That guy with the tabloid is Grant. He doesn't think this is very funny.

This is what tracks should look like.

The westfalenhalle. Dortmund, Germany.

Three Words

new-team-van